Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Sorry, I can't find my dashboard.  I'm too old to figure it all out.



READS:  
 11-9-2014  READS:Just finished “The Possession of Mr. Cave.” Well-written for a remains section of Dollar Tree. Ordered “Better to Have Never Been Born” from Amazon. 

11-10-2014  READS: John Cooke recommended a blog item at Skeptico of 10-14-14. I only got the first half read due to life....I found “Nan’s Blog” on the internet, a good read, a poet and liberal. I hope to connect with her. Shortly after that I got lost in the internet’s maze.

11-11-2014 READS:  While sitting at Subway, Started reading Fritjof Capra’s book “The Web of Life” at Chapter 4 to see if there’s any sense in it. (Don’t I sound arrogant, tho!)….
 
11-12-2014  READS: Got caught in Subway with no good reading material, only a book on self-healing which had not much new (except blood root for cancerous protrusions). Read time for me is usually bedtime. Tonight it's a little more of Capra and Alexander McCall Smith's new book set in Botswana,
"The Handsome Man's De Luxe Cafe."

DIARY
(A different kind of diary, to help me realize how I am spending my precious days while still alive.  No, I'm not terminal but someone said we begin the process of dying the minute we are born. Or did he word it differently than that?)



11-9-2014….I retrieved my $2,000 hearing aid from GDC in Gallipolis where it was found last week….The vultures retired to their home trees early today, appearing to know about Daylight Savings Time….The floating boat dock at the riverfront on the Ohio has already been packed up and moved for the winter….When I pulled into my parking lot a man walked up to me and handed me my hub cap, which he had seen fall off as I rounded a curve. I wrote a thank-you to the ANews about it, unsigned....The Bradford (plum?) tree is still shedding breath-taking leaves. I’ll pick up some to decorate the post card to friends about my new book, when it’s absolutely “out.”

11-10-2014….I left an autographed proof copy of my book on the sofa for Shannon to pick up, which she did while I was at the grocery store I guess. Excruciatingly frustrating day, trying to work my new blog and in the process losing my e-mail address and all my correspondence (temporarily, I hope!)  I haven’t got my gmail address back yet, so am out of tough with everything except this, which is being done in Word. But I wrote the final entry in my book, today, and am very happy with it:

 11-11-2014....Here I am, waiting for the final proof of my book to be completed, and “it” hasn’t stopped. This is going to sound crazier to the reader than anything to date, but is bringing me a sense of peace. I realized that I can’t just leave my father all alone and unhappy in his small shabby room, while I blithely publish my first book without the dedication  I promised him. And yet it can’t be the dedication he had envisioned.  In my mind’s eye I had to do something to take care of him, so in order to leave him and go on with my life I am putting him in a homey room with his mother Sary, his tennis loving cup, his bridge-playing partners from long ago, a tuned piano, a good cup of coffee and even his Camel cigarettes. He no longer has sinus trouble or Tourette’s, and he is not drinking alcohol or lusting. He is fulfilled. In my mind’s eye he is cracking a joke and feeling relaxed and appreciated.  And his untapped writing talent has been unleashed. His old typewriter has many finished  pages beside it, and he is in touch with the good man in him which had been buried under childhood hurts. And now, knowing he is being taken care of and content, in the sacred unfolding of love, I can truly let him be. I have backtracked and dedicate this book to him, in good faith and love. Nothing in the book proper foretells this, so I have written from a different, concomitant truth.  (See Dedication, below).

11-12-2014....Patricia I. phoned me about 11 a.m. and asked if I'd video an interview she was going to do with the O.U. women's swim coach, an Olympic champion, about 1 pm. I owed her one, so I said yes. I feel like a dunce with her, someone she has to jolly up.  Afterwards, I told her I didn't want any feedback on my footage.... Tonight Dru called and suggested I shoot the memorial service for a Dr. Carson, a founder of the O.U. Emeriti organization this Friday 4-6 pm, at the Country Club (which I have never been to).  She's going to check out permission.... Jane e-mailed me asking what we were going to do on our show Kaleidoscope this week. I don't have much but a video tad on plastic in the oceans and maybe a little bit on the local church and state issue a la Eliot Kalman, followed by Dru's talk at the UU on the Supreme Court and Religion on Sunday. Maybe I'll get a little informal footage from Eliot tomorrow.... Friday and Saturday is the Cohn's garage sale on Graham Drive, 9 a.m.  Received a very nice full-page handwritten letter from Bob Borchard for the DVD and taping I did.... I took the first step today in ordering a copy of my book with a shiny cover, instead of the matte finish, to see if that will make the cover's color a little brighter.


DREAMS

11-10-14  Sary Talks to Me – I am with Sary, at her house, and my dad and Ben are living there too.  I look out the window and see the green foliage of a tree across the street, giving privacy to the house across the street as well as a pleasant view from our window. We talk, and she asks me why I only brush my teeth in the morning and at noon, not morning and night.  I am thinking of a response and don’t answer her but waken, feeling good. 

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